Emergency Sex
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Internet Lesson #2: God and Sex
A week later, after I had recovered from my scare, I worked up the courage and went online again, but this time not to look for erotic stories, but to learn more about what had really happened a week ago. I searched for anything about what sex was, what it entailed, what had happened to my body a week ago, if it was natural, if I could do it again, was it safe to do it again etc. I remember stumbling onto a site that wrote about God and sex.
As a sidenote, as a kid, I was incredibly religious. My parents weren't the church going religious parents, but my mother had been brought up with a protestant education, so she thought her children should have access to the knowledge, but we ultimately had the choice whether to follow it or not. My brother and I went to a Christian school, but we weren't required to go to church to every Sunday, nor did we have to pray before every meal. My brother chose to exercise this right, and rarely did anything religious. I, on the other hand, read the Bible every day, had a ton of verses memorized, learned the Bible doctrine, went to Church every sunday, prayed before every meal. I was obsessive over the stories and teaching of the Bible. During parties, when alcohol was present, I always went around saying that alcohol was bad. My dad always offered my brother and I a sip from his glass. My brother always took his sip and then also took my sip. I always looked at him disgusted.
The day I stumbled onto the website about God and sex, was the first miniscule step towards my unlearning and disillusionment of Christianity. The author went on to pages and pages about the repressive nature of Christianity: its disapprovement of sex, its view of onanistic pleasure. He stipulated the beauty and naturalness of sex, and how in God's eye, it was seen as a dirty necessity that should only be practiced for the sake of procreation. To say the least, I was blown away by what I had read. At first, after my first orgasm, I felt incredibly guilty about what I had done, but days afterward, I felt a sense of calm, peace and a need to do it over again. A strong urge. I was put into unease when I read that God forbid such a pleasure, and in a naive mindset, I thought I had to choose between God and sex. ¶ 8:49 AM 2 comments
As a sidenote, as a kid, I was incredibly religious. My parents weren't the church going religious parents, but my mother had been brought up with a protestant education, so she thought her children should have access to the knowledge, but we ultimately had the choice whether to follow it or not. My brother and I went to a Christian school, but we weren't required to go to church to every Sunday, nor did we have to pray before every meal. My brother chose to exercise this right, and rarely did anything religious. I, on the other hand, read the Bible every day, had a ton of verses memorized, learned the Bible doctrine, went to Church every sunday, prayed before every meal. I was obsessive over the stories and teaching of the Bible. During parties, when alcohol was present, I always went around saying that alcohol was bad. My dad always offered my brother and I a sip from his glass. My brother always took his sip and then also took my sip. I always looked at him disgusted.
The day I stumbled onto the website about God and sex, was the first miniscule step towards my unlearning and disillusionment of Christianity. The author went on to pages and pages about the repressive nature of Christianity: its disapprovement of sex, its view of onanistic pleasure. He stipulated the beauty and naturalness of sex, and how in God's eye, it was seen as a dirty necessity that should only be practiced for the sake of procreation. To say the least, I was blown away by what I had read. At first, after my first orgasm, I felt incredibly guilty about what I had done, but days afterward, I felt a sense of calm, peace and a need to do it over again. A strong urge. I was put into unease when I read that God forbid such a pleasure, and in a naive mindset, I thought I had to choose between God and sex. ¶ 8:49 AM 2 comments
